RETURN OF THE LIVING ELVES coming November 29th!

From the author of Man, Fuck This House comes the brand-new novella Return of the Living Elves! It’s a horror comedy inspired by a certain very popular zombie film from the ‘80s, along with my desire to cash in on the holidays. It comes out November 29th and makes for the perfect gift, if I do say so myself.

When Christmas supply warehouse manager Jimmy tries to help new employee Tommy find a last-minute gift for his girlfriend, they accidentally unleash a long-forgotten and very seasonal genetic experiment with a taste for human flesh. As elf-zombie hybrids take over the small town of Pine Canyon, California, Jimmy fights to survive alongside Tommy's girlfriend, a Christpunk named Landfill, and a mysterious, PTSD-stricken soldier.

Watch the video here

Preorder the ebook now!

Preorder the paperback now!

New Novella Out Now!

It’s October 20th, which means my bizarre new haunted house novella MAN, FUCK THIS HOUSE came out yesterday!

For those of you who’ve read NUNCHUCK CITY or JAILBROKE, this is a bit of a departure. There’s still some humor, but it’s not slapstick, the stakes are higher, and the tone is—I hope—very unsettling. Funny, I initialed imagined something completely different, but without sounding too mystical about the whole thing, the book told me exactly what it wanted to be, and hopefully I’ve lived up to that.
Got a couple great blurbs so far, check them out:

"Brian Asman's Man, F*ck This House delivers an inventive take on one of horror's most tried and trusted genres. It's an off-kilter descent into madness and horror that'll leave you clutching your family close." -Zachary Ashford, When the Cicadas Stop Singing

"A whirlwhind of a ride...moments of mirth, moments of WTF." -Janine Pipe, author of Twisted: Tainted Tales

"Frenetic pacing, hilarious comedy, and inventive dialogue...[Asman] unleashes some suspense-building tricks worthy of King or Barker" -Nick Kolakowski, author of Absolute Unit
Intrigued? Go get it here or smash that MERCH button at the top of the page for signed copies.

New novella MAN, FUCK THIS HOUSE out October 19th!

Sabrina Haskins and her family have just moved into their dream home, a gorgeous Craftsman in the rapidly-growing Southwestern city of Jackson Hill. Sabrina’s a bored and disillusioned homemaker, Hal a reverse mortgage salesman with a penchant for ill-timed sports analogies. Their two children, Damien and Michaela, are bright and precocious.
At first glance, the house is perfect. But things aren’t what they seem.
Sabrina’s hearing odd noises, seeing strange visions. Their neighbors are odd or absent. And Sabrina’s already-fraught relationship with her son is about to be tested in a way no parent could ever imagine.
Because while the Haskins family might be the newest owners of 4596 James Circle, they’re far from its only residents…

Intrigued yet? MAN, FUCK THIS HOUSE is my version of a haunted house book. It’s weird, off-kilter, but is definitely the most “traditionally horror” long-form work I’ve published. And I can’t wait for y’all to read it.

Ebook preorders are up on Amazon right now, but if you’d like a signed copy, just click that “Merch” button at the top of the page, I’ve got some smoking hot deals going on.
All right, that’s all for now, enjoy your spooky season and crack open a pumpkin-flavored beverage of your choice for me!

It's My Birthday, Buy My Books!

Today, I turn forty. As a kid, I could imagine turning INTO a 40 (Steel Reserve, natch) but turning forty actual years old?

Inconceivable.

Since it’s my birthday, and a milestone one at that, I’ll hope you’ll forgive a little self-promotion. My newest novella, NUNCHUCK CITY, is just BEGGING to hit #1 in Amazon’s “Humorous Science Fiction” category. It’s currently on sale for $2.99 (ebook) or $8.69 (paperback). Of course you can hit that “Merch” button and get a signed copy, too—there’s no wrong way to buy my books!

Kind of appropriate I’m promoting NUNCHUCK CITY today, because it’s very much a hodgepodge of things I loved as a kid—ninjas, video games like DOUBLE DRAGON and BAD DUDES, liquified cheese—and things I love now, like satire, gore, and yes, liquified cheese. It’s probably the most “me” book I’ve ever written. And based on the initial reactions, it might just be the most “you” book I’ve ever written, too.

But don’t just take my word for it, check out what some of the critics are saying:

"Nunchuck City is well-written, funny and so strange you can understand why you've never seen a martial arts story like this before. Asman has created the B-movie that everybody has truly wanted to see but without the so-bad-it's-good and instead just: it's good." -Babou 691

"If you're in the mood for over the top action and comedy to boot, you'll be grinning all the way through to its suitably bombastic finale" -Kendall Reviews

"Nunchuck City has ninjas, it has fondue, it stars a fun cast, it has romance, and it has a never give up on your dreams message. It has everything a good story needs." -As Told By Bex

"One of the funniest, most The Naked Gun-esque stories I have ever read...If you love great writing, slapstick humor, and a memorable, totally lovable cast...you're going to adore this book. I promise." -What's Under the Covers Book Reviews

"[A] frequently violent, always funny send-up of the martial arts genre...Asman (Jailbroke) has a pitch-perfect ear for the tropes of martial arts movies" -Booklife by Publishers Weekly

NUNCHUCK CITY—punch boredom right in its stupid face, today! My birthday. Yes, I’m going to continue harping on that.

NUNCHUCK CITY Out 4/20!

You better nun-check yourself before you wreck yourself!

Disgraced ex-ninja Nunchuck “Nick” Nikolopoulis just wants to open a drive-thru fondue restaurant with his best friend Rondell. But when an old enemy kidnaps the mayor, and a former flame arrives in hot pursuit, Nick’s going to have to dust off his fighting skills and face his past. Plus an army of heavily-armed ninjas, a very well-dressed street gang, an Australian sumo wrestler with a gnarly skin condition, giant robots, municipal paperwork, and much, much more! From the rooftops to the sewers, Nick and his ex-girlfriend Kanna Kikuchi are in for the fight of their lives!

Also featuring the backup story “Curse of the Ninja” by Lucas Mangum!

You can preorder the ebook version on Amazon here, or get the paperback via my new online store!

New Novella Coming March 1st!

Extremely excited to announce my novella I’M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE TODAY drops March 1st from Eraserhead Press as part of their New Bizarro Author Series!

After a killer surf session, Scot Kring stops into his local Fasmart for a delicious, icy Slushpuppy. But before he can leave, a homeless guy outside has a stroke and accidentally recites an ancient Latin phrase that summons a very hungry demon, who just so happens to look like filmmaker Kevin Smith.

Now Scot's stuck in a time loop along with the other occupants of the convenience store who may or may not be demonically possessed and he's fighting back with nothing but a fistful of greasy hot dogs and a souvenir Slushpuppy cup as the giant menacing kaiju Kevin Smith threatens to kill them all.

I'm Not Even Supposed to Be Here Today is a demon apocalypse comedy for the slacker generation.

But don’t take my word for it, here’s Stephen Graham Jones:

"Sometimes you stop by the convenience store for a slushy and the world just goes straight to hell, and takes you along with it. I haven't had this much fun watching terrible stuff happen in a long time." -Stephen Graham Jones, author of Mongrels

If you don’t hate joy you can preorder the new novella right here.